Its been too LONG

Its been roughly a year and six months since Ive posted on this blog. I wish I did a better job of keeping up with it.
After my post I sorta got my shit together. The every semester I did better and better. Fall 2009 I spent allot of time hanging out with Patrick and Liz, I smoked allot and frequented Wendy's like erry day. Rebecca and I got very close in our friendship. I did allot of snowboarding and when I would she let me stop by and sometimes stay the night. I was trying hard to get my life moving in the right direction, looking for a job, and trying hard in school. Over winter break we hung-out almost everyday. There was one night where I was dropping her off home, and we were outside her house in my car, there were almost literally sparks in the air. She said she better get going, we stayed in the car for another 45min. That night she called me and told me she felt like she might have feelings for me. I was cautious at first, but this had been what i had always wanted. The next morning I called her back and told her that its on. We went to our first (awkward) date at the cheesecake factory. We both had a great time. Shortly after my winter intersession class started, I studied hard and long, writing love notes to Becca in between sessions. One day i drove to class, right after getting off the highway the car cut out. I suspected that the issue was a low idle in bitter cold winter. I started it back up again but it cut out as i was pulling into a parking spot. It turned out my dad had not kept up on his oil-changes, and i was unaware. The oil pump got clogged, causing the engine to be starved of oil, and then seize. This mishap prompted my family to buy a new car VW Jetta, while my dad's car (Toyota matrix) was being repaired. All the while my car (318ti) sat in the back driveway at my parents house. New Years was the first time I saw Rebecca highly attracted to me.
Upon coming back to school in the spring of 2010, sometime in January I stopped taking my meds, cause I was feeling better. The semester went on, i began to hang out with more of my Indian friends. That summer I wanted to stay in Richmond but my parents insisted I go home at least for a little while, I worked at Ameriprise and picked up golfing . My family ended up buying us a house in Richmond. Upon coming back to Richmond I was feverish to get a job. I started at BHC that August. I got a job in the telecommunication field. They sent me out to WV for training for 3 days. That November I ended up getting a speeding ticket on my way to work. I spent that semester shuttling from Richmond to Norfolk to Wiliamsburg and back for work. That winter break I went back to WV to help with a microwave site. I turned 21 on a mountain in the boonies of WV, and I can safely say I liked it. Spring 2011 Things were going well with becca, until i started hanging out with a new group of friends, david, perry, tyler, and becca 2. At first i smoked up with them every day. I began seeing the problems of a long distance relationship. seeing becca's dislike towards smoking of any kind and her judgement upon me when i would party weekend after weekend. I loved her, but i needed a break, some time away to clear my head. I asked her nicely, and she got pissed and blew up in my face, I said i would try harder to get over it and make it work. The next week I still felt the exact same way. I brought it up again. at first she was pissed. She called me back later and told me if this is what i needed she would give it to me. She then started putting conditions on our separation. I got mad, and said if she cant do it its over, it was stupid cause i still loved her, i just wanted time to get my hazy head cleared