"
getting caught up in all this monotony, its dragging me down. THese mood swings are killing me, and I feel as though this is the "awesome" future i have to look frwd to. on the inside i want to part of it. Truthfully i duno what i waant. i see my goals and ambitions there, but cant seem to make everything click into place.
One day ill be ready to take on the world and then next i feel as though im getting steamrolled by my life, flattening under the weight. Yesterday was terific, i was happy, i felt strong healthy and i was even dancing arround the appt. I worked on my computer that has needed some repairs badly for a longtime, and tied up loose ends all over my life.
Today i couldent get out of bed for my 2pm class, just layed there. I did eventually get up thinking all the while, no, wishing that i could just sleep and never have to get up to go to class, to eat, to do anything, no commitments, just pure raw relaxation, no plans, cares or worries. Ive trained myself to act like i dont give a shit. on the inside i do, i really do. I care too much and get too involved in other pples shit for my own good, sidebar, maybe i should have been "too involved" in your life last year, or... i duno where im going with that thought.
I know your in a better place now, away from all of these stupid worldly concerns. Sadly the thought has crossed my mind that perhaps I should join you, dr tells me its the chemical imbalance, i duno, death has always been a very curiously interesting topic for me. I duno how i feel about it in general, it brings sadness however is neutral itself. Well Cody Thompson, hats off to u for making a choice, I love u, and being far from you brings great sadness at times. But we will all go at sometime, just wish i had more with u. There is so much more we could have done, fun we could have had, wild adventures we could have embarked on, I guess we still can, metaphysically speaking.
good bye cody.
One day ill be ready to take on the world and then next i feel as though im getting steamrolled by my life, flattening under the weight. Yesterday was terific, i was happy, i felt strong healthy and i was even dancing arround the appt. I worked on my computer that has needed some repairs badly for a longtime, and tied up loose ends all over my life.
Today i couldent get out of bed for my 2pm class, just layed there. I did eventually get up thinking all the while, no, wishing that i could just sleep and never have to get up to go to class, to eat, to do anything, no commitments, just pure raw relaxation, no plans, cares or worries. Ive trained myself to act like i dont give a shit. on the inside i do, i really do. I care too much and get too involved in other pples shit for my own good, sidebar, maybe i should have been "too involved" in your life last year, or... i duno where im going with that thought.
I know your in a better place now, away from all of these stupid worldly concerns. Sadly the thought has crossed my mind that perhaps I should join you, dr tells me its the chemical imbalance, i duno, death has always been a very curiously interesting topic for me. I duno how i feel about it in general, it brings sadness however is neutral itself. Well Cody Thompson, hats off to u for making a choice, I love u, and being far from you brings great sadness at times. But we will all go at sometime, just wish i had more with u. There is so much more we could have done, fun we could have had, wild adventures we could have embarked on, I guess we still can, metaphysically speaking.
good bye cody.
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