So i had a pretty good weekend. Got nice and drunk!!! relaxing! so now back to school ect ect. I still need to sort out stuff at finance offices. I really really dont like people right now. PPle suck. they are full of dissapointment, the only thing i have found from those arroind me and close to me is instability and disfunction. Everyone has problems, but its none of my buisness to take theirs on. I got bored so i went after some adrenaline rush. I want to go to Hollywood cemetery. I like the lack of pple and the silence. They are calming and relaxing. I am free to wonder, and ponder. I guess theres nothing holding me back from going sept myself and tiredness. I know if i go im not comming back till tomorrow afternoon. maybe i should try and get permission from the owner. or downtown to skate. friends, i love them but sometimes feel that im too vested in my relationships. in too involved for my own good. I care about most of these pple like family. I feel as though I have been pushed back and repelled from their lives. Its not just one person specifically but the whole lot. The only true friend that i have is myself, im not going anywhere. I need to learn to live without needing other people. I didnt usted be so dependent on others. sleep is overpowering my nubile brain and i must go and be claimed. I hope i feel better tomorrow. Even with these negative thoughts i still managed to get a shite load done, laundry, cleaning my room, shopping. : ) Im still in love with that one, but have since removed her picture from my bag. Using her as inspiration and to refocus was effective, but im not going to get over her if I continue idolizing her, she has flaws, i kno this but still maintinan my sunny out look on well her. Im still tainted from these feelings. I want to be friends again. Were all busiy and maybe this is why but people only seem to get busiier so i need to get useto this since it will grow exponentially. I need to rediscover me for me and not the me that is for other people. I know i mold myself to what people need, i can be an abrasive ass hole, or a sensative carring friend. all depends. But i need to be what i want to be. I need to free myself of the constraints of others. get in touch with the real me. Coldplay makes me feel goood!